So last Wednesday while I was in intervals class, I kept catching my profile in the gym mirror, and thinking "why does my midsection look so puffy?!" The scale hadn't moved, I hadn't gained or lost anything significant in the week, but I felt completely bloated and gross. I checked my calendar, and realized I was probably PMSing. My cycle is never right on the nose, so according to what is "regular" for me, I could start in the next day, or next week. For some reason though I just had this nagging feeling. I had been taking clomid, which had made my cycle exactly 30 day the previous month, and as of Wednesday I was on day 35. Back story.... Clomid helps to stimulate ovulation. I did 7 rounds of it a few years ago with no luck. My OB told me from the get go that I needed to lose the weight to up my chances, but I wanted a solution NOW so we tried anyway. Surprise, it didn't work. So now, I've lost the weight and gone back, and she was ecstatic. She said 99% of the time when they tell a patient to lose the weight and then try, they never see them again. So she was happy to start me on another round of Clomid. The first month was the normal let down. So that brings us back to now, month two, day 35. So like I said, I feel a little uneasy ignoring it just because it was so exact on the dot last month. I figure what the heck, and I take a test. 2 lines, 2 dark lines, 2 fastly appearing dark for sure lines. Panic. Rip open another test.....Well look at that, same result! At this point I'm crying, shaking, and still in disbelief. After calming down some I decide I want a good test, one of those digital ones, a good brand, that maybe these cheap store brand ones are lying to me. So I run to the store and get the Clear Blue Easy Digital Test, all they have is a 5 pack, I don't even care, I buy it. The results are in :
At this point I was a ball of emotions, nervous, scared, thrilled, excited, blessed, you name it. It's something that I have wanted for so long, so so long. Something I have wanted for so long that I began to think it would never happen, it just wasn't in God's plan for me. So to be staring at these three sticks and seeing a whole different future than I imagine was just overwhelming. I put them all in a gift box and gave them to Ari when he got home. He opened them and just at in silence for what seemed like eternity. When he finally did speak it was "Are you serious? REALLY??" He was very excited, and already wants 3 more. I did the math and figured I was just about 5 weeks along. Very very early. So the next morning I went to the lab at the clinic and took their test. the next few hours of waiting were agonizing. I kept thinking my tests were wrong or something, yes all 3 of them. Thankfully they were not, and the clinic confirmed my pregnancy, and set me up with my first appointments.
In the meant time, I keep thinking about all the signs I missed. Normally I am so in tune, waiting and analyzing every feeling or syptom that MIGHT be pregnancy, how did I miss these? I was tired, so TIRED, sleeping through alarms, nodding off in the afternoons, having trouble making it through my normal work outs, just wiped out. Hungry, I was so hungy! I was waking up between 3 and 4 am because my stomach was growling like I hadn't eaten in days. And then of course the bloating, and the pressure I was feeling in place of normal PMS cramps. Once I put it all together it was pretty obvious, I don't know how I missed it all. All of that has continued, but add frequent need to pee. I have to make it a point to get my homework done early in the day, otherwise I am too tired to concentrate and get anything accomplished. I tried to sleep in this morning, but woke up at 5:00 am feeling like my stomach was eating itself, not to mention I had to pee, so there was no going back to sleep. Other than that though I feel ok, no sickness yet, knock on wood.
No comments:
Post a Comment